FOR THE HUSBANDS:
What guy wants to sit around talking about “intimacy”?
That’s just wrong. It’s not even a ‘guy’ word, is it? But bring up the word and after the discomfort subsides, for most guys the auto response is “Oh, you mean sex”.
But, she doesn’t mean sex.
Really, you’re joking, right honey?
She’s not joking.
She doesn’t mean “sex” when she says she wants intimacy. But learn what she does mean and the intimacy you enjoy with her will often involve making love.
So, what does she mean when she says the word ‘intimacy’? It’s pretty straightforward: She means EVERYTHING!
Do you like math? Think of it this way: Intimacy = Everything
. . . everything that happened in her day, all her interaction with you, verbal and nonverbal, especially including how you indicated your love for her through thoughtful acts of kindness, gratitude, care, and romance and yes, sometimes including physical intimacy.
For her, intimacy is a giant yarn ball with everything in her day connected to the same string. The core issue is how close to you she is feeling based on all of the input she’s had from you throughout the day.
So how have you treated her from the moment you got out of bed today? Did you speak warmly to her? Did you do small things for her throughout the day that said, “I love you,” in a way she can hear? Did you express appreciation for something she did today? Did you act in a way that said, “You are my priority. I love spending time with you?”
These things go into her definition of intimacy. The natural result of the atmosphere you have created by making a habit of doing them is to come together physically. There are always exceptions, but wives loved in this way want to be physically intimate with their husbands. They desire to give.
We men are often too quick to neglect the very things that will result in our wives’ desire to be with us. But, we don’t have to. Here are 5 Things you can do to develop the healthy habit of intimacy:
1) Before you leave the bedroom in the morning, tell her that you love her and will be thinking of her throughout the day.
2) Prove you are thinking of her by giving her a short phone call telling her you’re looking forward to being with her when you get home tonight.
3) Does she hold down the domestic front or does she work outside the home as well? Either way (or both for many women) tell her how much you appreciate all she does.
4) Ask if there’s something around the home she would like for you to get done . . . and do it.
5) Would she enjoy being taken away for an evening out? Ask her earlier in the day for a date.
The more we communicate our genuine love and interest in our wives, and care for their emotional needs, the more they desire to give of themselves and that is a vital part of a highly fulfilling marriage.
Continue reading this post (from Lisa’s perspective) at Lisa’s site, by clicking The Beautiful Habit of Enjoying Intimacy.